As you know I am about to take a trip to Chicago in a couple of weeks. I am a little concerned about this trip now because of the UFO that apparently visited O'Hare in November (see cut/pasted story below). First of all, if a UFO can't even get a gate at O'Hare, what are the chances that I will be able to disembark my plane once I arrive? There are enough delays at O'Hare as it is without having to compete with alien aircraft. Second, what if the UFO is looking for people to abduct and I happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? I am really not adventurous enough to want to ride in a UFO. I won't even get in a car with someone I don't know let alone an alien.
What I don't understand is if aliens are visiting the planet, why visit Chicago in the winter? Oh, I know Chicago is a great city and all, but even its residents hate it in January. Perhaps the aliens are visiting because it has been an unseasonably warm winter this year. Or maybe they just want some Pequod's Pizza. If that is the case maybe our civilizations could co-exist.
What if the UFO returns to Chicago? What if they can't land at O'Hare? Would they fly downtown and try to land there? If so, where would they park? I know from personal experience that they will be met with extreme hostility if they try to park on Broadway or Halsted. I know several people who would gladly throw down with anyone, alien or not, who takes up more of a parking space than the amount a Toyota Corolla would occupy.
If there really is intelligent life on other planets I think the aliens took one look at Chicago in the winter and will head to Brazil to check out the warm weather and hot chicks. However, if anyone spots a UFO over a Cubs game next summer I would suggest evacuating Chicago. You know the aliens would love a Cubs game as much as everyone else does and then they would want to stay and colonize Chicago. There just isn't enough room in the bleachers for a bunch of unruly aliens and parking is non-existent in Wrigleyville. Can you imagine what would happen if the aliens spent too much time at Murphy's after the game and tried to drive drunk back to their galaxy? They could smash up the solar system and then where would we be?! Go home aliens. There is no room for you in Chicago.
'UFO' spooks pilots over Chicago
Federal officials in the US say it was probably just some weird weather phenomenon, but a group of United Airlines employees swear they saw a mysterious, saucer-shaped craft hovering over Chicago's O'Hare Airport.
The workers, some of them pilots, said the object did not have lights and hovered over an airport terminal on November 7 before shooting up through the clouds, according to a report in today's Chicago Tribune.
The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) acknowledged that a United supervisor had called the control tower at O'Hare, asking if anyone had seen a spinning disc-shaped object.
But the controllers did not see anything, and a preliminary check of radar found nothing out of the ordinary, FAA spokeswoman Elizabeth Isham Cory said.
"Our theory on this is that it was a weather phenomenon," Cory said. "That night was a perfect atmospheric condition in terms of low (cloud) ceiling and a lot of airport lights. When the lights shine up into the clouds, sometimes you can see funny things."
The FAA is not investigating, Cory said.
United spokeswoman Megan McCarthy said company officials do not recall discussing any such incident from November 7.
At least one O'Hare controller, union official Craig Burzych, was amused by it all.
"To fly seven million light years to O'Hare and then have to turn around and go home because your gate was occupied is simply unacceptable," he said.
AP
3 comments:
I bet the aliens want Nigel.
The aliens cannot have Nigel. Also Nigel is not in Chicago so if they want him they are (thankfully) looking in the wrong place. Don't tell Jonathan though because he would gladly trade Nigel to the aliens for a piece of space rock.
It wouldn't even need to be a shiny rock. Hell, they could give me a regular rock, CALL it a space rock, and Nigel would be theirs. Little would they know that he's more of a danger to them than they are to him.
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