For Your Consideration

Since we're discussing dogs (and pets), I would like to nominate my dog, Molly, for the "Worst Dog of the Year 2006" award.

Oh she may be cute, but that just makes her all the more dangerous. (If you don't believe me just see the post below re: incredibly horrible farting dog - he's very cute)

Allow me to give you some highlights of her performance in 2006:

1. Every neighbor we've met this year, we met because of Molly, either as a result of her attempting to attack, eat or hump a neighbor's beloved animal. I seriously have a stash of candles, lotions and candy that is used as "Sorry my dog nearly killed your dog" gifts.

2. She is the laziest dog ever, but some how manages to escape over, under or through the fence in our backyard repeatedly (presumably to go meet neighbors).

3. She tracks in more mud than is humanly possible and does it on purpose. Seriously, she'll cry to go outside and then she'll dig a hole in the backyard for 5 minutes just so that she can come inside with muddy paws. And they're big feet, the picture doesn't quite do justice to her size.

4. She eats shoes.

I don't have children, but sometimes I think having animals is quite close. I also have another dog who should also be nominated for the same award. (I'm a lucky dog owner). His name is cartman and here are some of the highlights of his 2006 career:

1. He pees in the house.

2. He growls at you if you touch him while he's sleeping and will snap without provocation.

3. He poops in the house.

4. He steals food off of my plate - he's small and spry and can easily maneuver small spaces.

Oh yeah, also my big dog Molly farts too. It's quite horrific - skin burns and people actually have to clear out of our house for days. I have no theory - at least Rusty eats cat poo and that's my theory for his smelly farts.

For the above reasons (and so many more), I humbly request your consideration for Worst Dog of the Year 2006 for Molly and Cartman.