Sunday, January 7, 2007

Top 10 Things Hope Can See From Her Office Window

As many of you may know, I am an attorney and work in a high-rise office building in downtown Chicago. I spend an average of twelve hours a day in my office and a significant amount of that time gazing out my office window. Don't get me wrong, I don't spend 12 consecutive hours a day staring out my office window, I tend to incorporate the gazing into my other activities. For example, if I am talking on the phone with you, chances are, I am also looking out my office window or, when I type on my computer, I often glance, if only for a few seconds, out the window. I am certainly not saying that there are not times that I don't "stare" out my window, such as the time when a man in a wheel chair tried to cross the Chicago River on a tightrope (as my fabulous friend Liz would say, "I am not making this one up") or, when there was a low-flying helicopter hovering disturbingly close to my building. For the most part, however, my looks out my window, albeit frequent, are fleeting. As I am sure you are finding this topic as fascinating as I do, I thought I would share with you the top 10 things I can see outside my window.

10. Chicago River-It is only about 2 inches if I hold up my fingers and measure but it is a water view!

9.Small Boat on the Chicago River-On my 2 inch scale noted above, the boat is about 1/4th of an inch long.

8. Chicago Sun-Times Building-This is where I look when I forget whether "Sun-Times" is one word, two words or is hyphenated. Because of my view, I will never misspell "Sun-Times" again...well, unless it is really foggy and I can't see the name on the building.

7. One fourth of the Chicago Merchandise Mart-For you non-Chicagoans, this is huge building on the Chicago River that has its own zip code and was recently sold by the Kennedy family. Speaking of Kennedys, one of the Kennedy cousins lives in Chicago and is big on the Chicago social scene but I can't remember his name and it didn't come up when I tried to Google "Kennedy Chicago."

6. The clouds--at first, I was going to say the sky, but then I realized that I can't actually see the sky today or most days in Chicago because it is always gray and overcast.

5. Large white air conditioning unit on the top of the building next to mine--This unit is an unpleasant reminder of the huge air conditioning units that sit on top of my condo, directly over my bed and, in the summer, sound like a low flying helicopter (and I do know what that sounds like, see my intro paragraph above)--they make the walls vibrate, my head vibrate and my cats uneasy. This may be the sole reason to love Chicago in the winter.

4. Pirates of the Caribbean poster in an office in the building next to mine--This poster must be huge, I can even read the words on it, by my measure it is 3 inches tall, compared to the Chicago River, which was 2 inches, but then again, the River is about 3 blocks away and blocked by other buildings.

3. American flag on a flag pole on top of a building--Which reminds me, I think people should be able to burn the flag as an expression of freedom, just wanted to be clear on that so everyone knows where I stand.

2. The Sears Tower--That is, if I press my forehead against the glass and turn my head at a 45 degree angle.

And the number one thing Hope can see from her office window are...

Black spots on the outside of the window--I have no idea what they are or how they got there but they seem there to stay. They look like oily paint splotches and if I stare at them long enough I start seeing faces looking back at me. The last two times the window washers came by, I tried to point them toward the spots but they ignored me. I guess when a man is hanging from a rope 23 floors above the ground trying to balance a bucket of water and a squeegee he is more to think about than my spots.

Stay tuned, coming soon, "Top 10 things Hope can see from her office window AT NIGHT" and "Top 10 things Hope CAN NOT see from her office window."

6 comments:

Liz said...

You spend way too much time in your office my fabulous friend. A couple of comments: I thought they tore down the Sun Times building so that Donald Trump could build his most recent monstrosity?

Also the Chicago-Kennedy to which you refer is Chris Kennedy. He lives in Kennilworth with his family and spends a lot of time managin the Chicagoland Food Depository which (I think) is a charity he created.

Also I think William Kennedy Smith (alleged rapist) still lives in Chicago and works at the Rehab Institute but he may have gotten run out of town for inappropriate behavior. He used to live a few blocks from where I lived in Wrigleyville. If he isn't in Chicago check Palm Beach...that seems to be a popular Kennedy hangout.

Hope said...

You are correct my fabulous friend Liz, the OLD Chicago Sun-Times builidng was torn down to make room for Trumps mark on Chicago. The Chicago Sun-Times is now in the building accross the street from the Merchandise Mart. This is the same building that houses the Holiday in on the top few floors.

Anonymous said...

This is a stupid post. Who cares what you can see from your window. If you are going to write this stuff at least make it funny.

Hope said...

OK, anonymous, that was just mean.
First, obviously, I care what I can see from my office window, if you don't care don't read a post titled, "What Hope Can See From Her Office Window." Second, I did think the post was amusing, in a subtle sort of way...which brings me back to my first point, if you don't like it don't read it.

Liz said...

Yeah, you tell 'em Hope. Don't be mean be sweet...that is our motto here at Pufatufniks. At least don't say mean things about the authors. The authors, however, reserve the right to write mean things about anyone other than ourselves if we feel it necessary or amusing.

Steph said...

Mean anonymous . . . if we knew who you were, we'd send both Nigel and Rusty after you.