People Selling Stuff Door to Door

I'm a nice person - I buy girl scout cookies, give to the homeless and rarely park illegally. BUT, I think all of my niceness was expended this morning when two 20-ish boys (I'll call them boys, because I think one of them had their ball cap on backwards and the other didn't look like he owned a brush) came to my door this morning selling magazine subscriptions.

I think we've all been approached by people selling magazine subscriptions for points, and the story goes that if they get so many points they win a trip to Europe or money for college or a gift certificate for ice cream or some other random prize that I really don't care about. Well these two boys show up at my door around 10:00 AM with their perky little smiles and unkempt hair and clothes and teeth . . . telling me their sob story about no money for college (I don't think either one of these half-wits could even spell college). Anyways, they were VERY pushy. BUT, I being a nice person, listened to their story and reviewed the list of magazine subscriptions that they were offering.

I needed to renew my subscription to US Weekly - so I thought, what the heck - I'll help out these poor illiterate boys with their dream of going to college (although, my better judgement told me to shut the door - one of the half-wits told me a joke about going to Europe and then asked me if I liked chicken, after I stupidly said"Yes", he said "why don't you grab a wing and come along". )

So, I told them I needed a subscription for US Weekly. Then (if you can believe it), the lead half-wit told me that they usually ask people to select 2, because it's impossible for him and twiddle-dum-whit to split points. I then told the two that I really didn't want one subscription, but that I wanted to help them out. Then, the lead half-wit asked me how I would like to pay, I told him check. He then (if you can believe it) asked me if I had any cash that I could use, because it would help him get his points faster. I told him "No". Seriously, these two would just not quit. They were at the height of all-time human annoyance when the lead half-wit asked me if I had anything cold to drink. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I just gave you a check for $90, worth 240 points towards college (whatever that means) and you want a cold drink. Well, because I'm so stupidly nice I gave them each a coke. Sometimes, I want to hit myself for being such a stupid nicey-nice.

In actuality, I'm not that nice with everyone who comes to the door. But these two boys reminded me of these two characters in a movie called Funny Games. It's a petrifying movie about this couple who tell these two boys they cannot borrow some eggs. The two boys come back later to the house and torture the family mercilessly. The way I see it, I spent $90, but I really did save the life of my family. I hope that my wonderful husband sees it this way too.