Is Tara Connor A Space Alien?

Last night I was hanging out with my fabulous friends Whitney and Jessica. We had a great time drinking wine and discussing important newsworthy and cultural issues. Some of the key issues we discussed included universal health care, global warming, Britney's lack of underpants, Paris's lack of intelligence, and whether or not the weird guy who works at our local grocery store is merely creepy or possibly autistic. It was that kind of discussion. Anyway, one of the topics that we dissected was the saga of Miss USA, Tara Connor (or as I like to call her, Crazy Tara), and her penchant for TMI on TV.

First of all, I have to admit that if I hadn't seen Tara's tearful press conference to announce that she was going to rehab that I wouldn't have even known who Miss USA is. I have heard that no one watches the Miss America pageant anymore and if that is true I can only imagine how few people watch the Miss USA pageant. The Miss USA pageant organizers should be thanking Crazy Tara for bringing some much needed attention to their second rate pageant.

If you have been anywhere near a television over the past couple of days there is no way that you could have missed clips of Crazy Tara's interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show. The first question that came to my mind as I watched Tara disclose too much information (TMI) about her "recovery" was, "Is Tara from outer space?" Only a space alien would think that it's a good idea to reveal her cocaine use and allude to childhood sexual abuse when the interviewer was simply asking questions about her alcohol abuse. In other words, if all that you were alleged to have done was drink too much then why would you offer information about illegal drug use? What a f---ing moron.

The interview made it sound like before entering rehab Crazy Tara was a coked up drunken liar who snuck out of her posh Trump Plaza apartment every night to score drugs and have sex with random men. Apparently we are supposed to believe that a mere 30 days later Miss USA is a changed woman who now possesses life changing insights into her destructive behavior and the issues causing it. Right. I believe that story. And monkeys might fly out of my butt.

Apparently the lovely Ms. Connor doesn't have access the advice of a good publicist. Or even a bad publicist. Good grief. Didn't anyone ever teach her how to talk to reporters without actually answering their questions? My feeling is that the Miss USA organization has thrown her under the bus in order to protect their purported "good reputation". As if anyone thought that the organizers of beauty pageants care a whit about the well being of the young women whom they require to parade around in bikinis in order to have a shot at winning the crown and some scholarship money.

Pageant organizers have been pimping out these girls for the viewing pleasure of young men everywhere for as long as I can remember. It's a bit of a disconnect to think that a 20 year old who is enjoying all the pleasures that New York has to offer could ruin the somewhat shady reputation of an organization that sends a message that scholarship money and and low body fat are somehow connected. It seems a bit mean that they would send Crazy Tara into an interview without the common sense advice to say nothing.

So the only conclusion that I can draw is that one of two things happened:

Option #1: someone did tell Tara to say as little as possible about her problems to Matt Lauer and she ignored this sage advice because she is actually from another planet where they don't have reporters, news, tabloids, paparazzi, and TV ratings.

Option #2: Crazy Tara received no advice about how to navigate a TV interview about her personal issues and, in an effort to please the interviewer, she engaged in a ridiculous tell-all about every stupid and self destructive thing she has ever done.

Either way, Tara Connor will be haunted by this situation for the rest of her life. Unless she becomes a nun at a convent in Peru. Then, maybe everyone will forget.