We all have times when we're not exactly the best neighbor - maybe we host a late night loud party or our lawn gets a little overgrown, but I had an absolutely infuriating experience with my neighbor this morning. It is for this reason that I am nominating Quack (yup, that's his name), his bird - Polly, his dog - Buddy, and the rest of his family ("Quack & Co.") for the Worst Neighbor Award. I know my fabulous friend Liz also has a couple neighbors she could probably nominate.
Reasons why Quack & Co. deserve this award:
- This morning when my fabulous husband went to our garbage can to throw in our trash for pick up this morning, he discovered that someone had thrown in a bag of trash, about 70 magazines and 12 broken floor tiles into our trash can. We had plenty of room, so he didn't think to much of it, but when he came into the house to tell me about the little gift one of our neighbors left us - I WAS LIVID. Even horrible people who kick puppies don't stick their garbage in a neighbor's trash can (well maybe they do, but I don't know people who kick puppies). I'm not a big fan of garbage - but I was so mad that I went out to my own garbage can, fished out a magazine so that I could determine the address of the offender. It was Quack & Co. I then emptied all of their garbage from MY can and dumped it on their trash can area - not it the trash can, just by it. I should have scattered it in their front yard, but the idea of my hands' prolonged exposure to a neighbors' trash was not very unappealing. I then promptly took a shower and thought of ways to get even . . .
- Quack continuously throws the ball to his dog, Buddy, in our yard. We have lots of Buddy's brown, steamy gifts in our front yard.
- Quack tells awkward stories when he corners us to talk, like the time he shot a man.
- He rides around the neighborhood on a noisy motorcycle, with a parrot on his shoulder and an unleashed, poo-happy dog running by his side.
Okay, those are my reason - I'm sure are others, I just can't think of them right now. Go ahead fabulous friend Liz, try to top my neighbor!
3 comments:
The fact that you took their garbage out of your can and put it in their yard is AWESOME!! I laughed out loud about that. I wish I could have seen you do that. Particularly since you are pretty much the nicest and most laid back person ever...I am surprised that you did that. But I am also really proud of you. You go girl.
Liz
Oh, I love it! It’s a rare sight to see nice little Steph acting out. I guess we’ve found something that will push her over the edge. I think this beats my neighbor hiring drunk contractors to work on her fence in my yard with my kids running about. (She probably wasn’t expecting the guys to be drunk.) Anyway, way to go Steph!
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