Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Tom Cruise: Lunatic Extraordinaire


If you haven't seen the cover of the most recent US Magazine, you must check it out. Poor Katie looks exhausted and unhappy. Have you noticed that Katie is almost never photographed without her baby, Suri? If she was a Midwestern housewife that might not be so odd but in the world of celebrity breeding customs it is a tad strange that she would take the kid with her everywhere. Where's the nanny? In contrast I don't think Britney Spears could pick her kids out of a lineup.

The fact that Tom Cruise is a control freak isn't really news but seeing the exhaustion in poor Katie's face kind of made me sad for her. Well sort of...what did the stupid broad think she was getting into when she sold her soul to Tom and the Cult of Scientology (or Crazyology as I like to call it)?

Remember when you were in high school and the movie Top Gun first came out? Tom Cruise was the hottest guy on the planet then and you (possibly) even dreamed of marrying him. Those days are over in light of his public craziness. I have to say that I would never trade my life for hers no matter how many private jets I got to fly in and how much shopping I got to do. Her life seems like a living hell to me.

Another odd thing that isn't talked about in the media much is the fact that Katie lives not just with her new husband Tom but with several members of his family in a 6,500 sq foot home in California. A 6,000 square foot home sounds large except when you consider that 9 people live there (Tom, Katie, Suri, Tom's mom, Tom's sister, two of Tom's nephews, and Tom's two kids Connor and Isabella). To put it in perspective, my house is about 3,000 square feet and only 2 people live in it...we have plenty of space but if one other person lived here I think that none of us would have any privacy.

So Katie gets married and lives with Tom's whole family. Good grief. It's like some kind of old fashioned South American marriage where the bride moves in with the groom's family because they can't afford their own place yet. It has been my experience that most brides who enter into such arrangements complain about being unhappy a lot and pressure their husbands to get them a home of their own. But I guess with all the Scientology brainwashing that is taking up her time poor Katie doesn't have much time to complain about privacy.

Let this be a lesson to all you young girls out there: don't marry for money or you may wind up in a gilded prison and married to a controlling lunatic who makes you join a cult and live with his whole family who are also in the cult. And, if you don't take your pills properly the lunatic may knock you up which means that he now controls you and your spawn for a very long time.

I can't see the "happily ever after" in this story. But, hey, maybe I am just a cynic.

3 comments:

Steph said...

The only "happy ever after" in this story is when Katie becomes fully brainwashed and they move into a compound with other scientologists, that or she gets abducted by aliens.

Liz said...

Aliens would be an improvement over her current company. Although, don't Crazyologists believe that they turn into aliens called Thetans and fly around on space ships to the planet Xenu or something anyway? Who can keep all this crazy shit straight anyway. I need a martini stat.

Liz

Anonymous said...

I agree with steph (although I don't know who steph is). Can you say Branch Dividian? It's just a matter of time before the suicide banter starts.

Steve G