I have an idea for a reality show whose time has come: Celebrity Gladiator Pit. Yeah, that is right, the reality show will work like this: Celebrities will all live in a house (or castle) and will compete in small games/tests during the week. At the end of the week, the celebrity with the lowest score will be tossed in "The Pit".
I don't think it really matters if you give the celebrities armor and weapons or not. I don't think that many of them would be able to survive alone even if you gave them armor, a spear, and a black American Express card. No guns allowed though because I don't want these jokers to have an unfair advantage. Each week the chosen celebrity will face a large carnivorous animal in The Pit.
The show should last an hour and the first 15-20 minutes should focus on life in the house, celebrity interaction, and whatever minor competitions they participated in during the week. Then the remaining 40 - 45 minutes should focus on The Pit. And it should be live! Wouldn't it be great to see Paris get eaten by a Grizzly Bear? Or to watch Lindsey meet her maker at the hands of a lion?
The best part is that we never have to see the celebrities again after the competition because they will be animal poo. Of course it's possible (but unlikely) that one of the celebrities will get out of the pit before being eaten. But I would say it's pretty improbable since most of them don't even know how to get a drink of water by themselves. Without their posses and assistants these people won't have a chance at survival.
Now don't worry that we might lose a good celebrity like Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, or Matthew Mcconnahey...they are A-listers who would never sign up for a dangerous show like this. You know who will sign up and all of the morons who would sign up for this reality show deserve what they get. Here is the roster of "celebrities" whom I think would sign up for the first (and probably only) season:
Flav A Flav
Andrew Dice Clay
Melissa Rivers
Danny Bonaduce
Paris Hilton
Brigitte Nielson
Tracy Bingham
Britney Spears and/or K-Fed (I hope!)
Tom Sizemore
Heidi Fleiss
Bobby Brown (he needs the cash and it's better than jail)
Star Jones
Aaron Carter
Gary Coleman
Vanilla Ice
Tracy Lords
Jessica Simpson (if her publicist tells her that the lion in the pit is really a cute little kitty)
Now wouldn't you watch that show? That is some good TV! Lets petition Fox or VH1 to get this show on the air this fall. The world will be a better place after all of these people get eaten by bears, mountain lions or tigers.
If we get to air a season 2 the second season can feature "The Tank" instead of "The Pit". The Tank would hold great white sharks and the celebrities who had to go in The Tank would be told that they were filming a scene for a new James Bond movie. But of course, once they entered The Tank they would never return. Unless they can swim really fast of course...
2 comments:
Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
With celebs like these you may have to worry about the "lemming" factor. The whole house may just follow the loser into the pit thinking that there’s a party at the bottom. You could be done in one episode.
Jen
Great idea. I hadn't even thought of that. You could kill like 20 "birds" with one lion. That would great. I know it would cut down on the number of episodes but E! could focus on a dead cast member every day for almost a month. How awesome would that be??!!
Liz
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