It's Okay To Sell Gifts On Ebay

December was a very busy gift-receiving month for me. Not only were there the typical holiday gifts, but I also got married the first weekend of the month. Additionally, I had a shower and a bachelorette party during the month of November. Needless to say, my house is full of many wonderful gifts (including a fabulous massage mat from my fabulous friend Liz) and also many other indescribable gems such as the picture posted above.

If during the last month or so, you too were the recipient of countless gifts that you can only describe as "tacky" or euphemistically as "old-lady thoughtful" - do not hesitate to list these items on Ebay. Here are some simple steps:

Step 1: Research your item online (aka "steal underpants")

• Find out how much you might possible get for it - if it's not worth the effort, you might consider giving it or throwing it away. For example, the retail value of this beautiful butterfly thing is over $35 - who would have known?

Step 2: Take the most flattering picture of your item

• This may take a professional if your item is truly hideous, but there's no need to expend a great deal of effort on an item that doesn't cost very much. The picture above is not the best, but it gets the point across.

Step 3: Write a great description

• Don't lie, but think like an old lady (only if you have old lady-type stuff, like me). Here is an example of what I wrote for the above piece:

This is a spectacular porcelain figurine. It has three beautiful butterflies and a ladybug surrounding picturesque pink flowers. There is room for a candle or candy in the bowl-like opening. The figurine is 8" high, the bowl-like opening is 5" across and 1.5" high. This would be a beautiful addition to any one's butterfly, ladybug or flower collection.

This is short (old ladies may not live that long to read a lengthy description) and sweet and gives a gift-giving idea to the person reading it.

Step 4: Wait for the money to roll in (aka "profit")

• It's amazing what people will pay for stuff that you might think is horrible. For example, I made over $90 on another even more hideous figurine. Not sure how much money I'll get for the above piece - I'll keep everyone posted.

Please don't ever feel guilty for selling stuff you will never use or dust on Ebay. This is more difficult to do if the person who gave you the gift often visits your home, but is perfect for the distant relative who has no idea what State you live in.

A little advice for those of you attending a wedding in the near future - either look at the registry or give cash. Nothing else is acceptable, don't try to be different - your gift will just become the gift that the bride & groom and all of their friends laugh at and then try to sell on Ebay.

Liz Loved The Good Shepherd - Go See This Movie!

I just returned from watching the movie, The Good Shepherd, with my fabulous friend Steph and our respective husbands. All I have to say is WOW. What a fantastic movie. I can't stop thinking about it. Its one of those movies that you leave and you aren't sure if you really got all of it. Many things in the movie are not what they seem and others are exactly what they seem. Figuring out which are which is half the fun.

Matt Damon was amazing in this movie and I hope he is nominated for an Oscar for his role. He really doesn't have that many lines but he conveys so much with his expressions. Its a very subtle role and he did an incredible job of letting viewers get to know his character and his motivation just by looking at his eyes. There was just so much going on in this movie that I am not sure I caught it all. I can't wait to see it again.

Movie viewing tip: The Good Shepherd is 3 hours long so if you don't want to miss any of the movie don't get the large soda. Sadly I made this mistake and had to leave the theater 3 times. My third bathroom break came at a really pivotal point near the end of the movie and I almost wet my pants because I really wanted to see a particular scene.

Nigel Strikes Again

Nigel lounging to the left. Nigel sleeping in the photo below. He is so adorable for such a punk.





First of all, every morning between 4:30 - 6:00 am Nigel, my cat, wakes up and wants his packet of soft cat food. We keep a bowl of crunchy food on his perch all the time but in the morning he gets his soft food. If we don't get up to feed him on time he makes all kind of noise and does annoying things so we can't sleep. So, of course, either my husband, Jonathan, or I get up and feed him every morning ASAP so we can get back to sleep.

Lately Nigel has started humping my arm. Its very harmless because he was neutered when he was pretty young but its impossible to sleep through. It's very amusing to me that he won't do this to my arm when Jonathan is awake or if he thinks Jonathan can see him. If Jonathan, walks in while Nigel is having his way with my arm, the cat gets this very embarrassed look on his face and runs away.

Now you are probably wondering why I let my cat hump my arm. And the answer is that I usually don't. He always strikes when I am in bed and my arms are above the covers. A quick way to make him stop is to put my arms under the covers except that occasionally he gets really violent and sticks his paws under the covers and scratches at my arm until I pull an arm out. Also sometimes its too hot to keep my arms under the covers. He doesn't hump for very long so sometimes if I just want some sleep I have found its easier to let him do his thing and then I can go back to sleep.

The really funny part is that after he humps my arm he likes to hold onto my hand with his paws, licks it, nips at it, and cuddles with it. Actually maybe that is more creepy than funny.

This morning I got up and fed Nigel at 4:30 am and then I went back to sleep until 6am when Nigel decided he wanted someone to get up and play with him. He was being SO annoying...he grabbed my feet, scratched at the chair in the bedroom, rattled the shades, and did everything he could to wake us up. He was successful. I got up and moved to the guest bedroom so that my husband could get some sleep. Nigel, of course, followed me. I think he was trying to get me alone so he could have his way with my arm. Since I wanted to go back to sleep I let him pleasure himself and then he cuddled my arm and we both got some sleep.

Sometimes I think that Nigel thinks we are having some kind of torrid affair. It's like he thinks he is my little boyfriend. Jonathan and I joke about this and I think its hilarious. Jonathan thinks Nigel is a spoiled little punk.

Liz's Favorite TV Shows

My fabulous friend Steph listed her top 10 TV shows earlier today so now I will list my favorites but not in any particular order:

1. Law & Order
2. Law & Order SVU
3. Without A Trace
4. The Closer
5. The Office
6. The Daily Show
7. Seinfeld Reruns
8. E! True Hollywood Stories
9. Hogan Knows Best
10. The Kathy Griffin Show
11. Breaking Bonaduce (total train wreck!)
12. Veronica Mars (first season was, by far, the best TV show ever)
13. American Chopper
14. A&E Biographies
15. Dominick Dunne (Court TV)
16. James Bond Movie Marathons
17. Monk
18. Colbert Report
19. King of the Hill
20. The Simpsons

A Post from Liz's Fabulous Friend, Hope

(Photo: Hope, Liz, and our fabulous friend Jamica)

This looks fun. I want to blog too. How do I blog? I have never blogged. I don't want my own blog, I just want to blog with you. Is that possible, will your husband be jealous? Or, maybe he will just want to watch. Please address this on your blog so I can blog with you. - Hope

Dear Hope,

Naturally, I will have to discuss it with my fabulous friend Stephanie, whom you met when you were visiting Austin. But I think she will agree that your interest in minutia combined with your strong opinions about all of life's oddities (like when the TSA wouldn't allow lip gloss on airplanes) and mysteries (why that one guy who works at our former employer only seems have two shirts in his wardrobe) make you an outstanding addition to our guest blogger team.

- Liz

For those of you interested in Hope's background, let me give a brief bio. Hope was born in rural Nebraska but escaped after graduating from small private college. She went to law school and got her LLM in Chicago. We used to work together but now she has a job as an attorney with a big law firm in Chicago so she works about a million hours a week. One cool thing about her job is that if she works late (which she does every night) her firm provides dinner for her. So she doesn't ever have to go grocery shopping which is good because she has no time for that and there isn't a grocery store near where she lives.

Hope has an awesome condo in Chicago in an artsy area called Bucktown. Now, Hope and I disagree about whether or not she should live in that neighborhood. Obviously, she thinks she should live there or she wouldn't have purchased her hip, cool loft-ish home. I think her apartment is too far west and you have to walk like 5 block to get to the el. And its hard to find a cab out there. I have always referred to Bucktown as "the black hole" because it was just just too far from where I used to live in Wrigleyville which was right by the lake. However, there are tons of cool bars, restaurants (the Blue Line is my favorite), a couple of really nice nail salons, and tons of hip and cool shops. Hope loves shoes and there are some awesome places that sell shoes in her neighborhood. Personally, I think that is why she lives in Bucktown...for the shoe shopping.

Now, if you are from Texas and you are reading this you might think that "shoes" means flip flops which is all anyone in Austin ever wears. But (and this will come as a shock to you Austinites) in places like Chicago people have to wear mostly closed-toe shoes most of the year. Yes, you heard right. There are places that are too cold for flip flops. Chicago is one of those places. Many people in Chicago wear snow boots like Timberlands in the winter because they keep their feet warm and dry. Hope is not one of those people. When Hope buys shoes she buys high-heeled (at least 3 inch heels most of the time) shoes that she wears all the time. She walks to the el in her heels, wears them on the train, in the snow, in the rain, on the sidewalk, and everywhere. Hope doesn't have any Timberland boots but she does have some lovely high heeled black boots. So, Hope always looks like a model even though she has now lost 3 toes to frostbite which is another reason she always wears closed-toe shoes. But that is a topic for another blog entry.

Hope was the Maid of Honor at my super-fantastic wedding in Cancun. Also she (literally) planned the whole wedding and made all the invitations, menus, save-the-date cards etc. If it wasn't for Hope I don't know what I would have done but I can say for sure that my wedding wouldn't have been as wonderful as it was without Hope. She knows everything there is to know about wedding planning and maybe one day she will start her own wedding planning business. If she does, we will for sure write about that in this blog. Also, maybe we would offer her some marketing help.

So that is a brief bio about my fabulous friend Hope who may become a contributor to our blog as long as (a) my fabulous friend Stephanie says its OK, and (b) Hope has the time in between work and shoe-shopping to write some non-legal stuff for our blog. Yeah, that is right Hope, you cannot just take legal jargon from the stuff you have to write at work and cut/paste it into our blog. You have to write about random topics like movies, or TV, interesting articles in the Star, or idiosyncrasies of people you know (or don't know).

Stay tuned to see if Hope winds up being a contributor to this blog or if she, instead, uses the time she could be writing to go shopping.

Best TV of 2006

Truth be told, I watch a lot of television and so does my fabulous friend Liz. Here's my top 10 list for 2006:

1. Dexter
2. Lost
3. CSI
4. Heroes
5. The Office
6. The Daily Show
7. Supernatural
8. Veronica Mars
9. Scrubs
10. How I Met Your Mother

More top 10 lists to come, like; movies, celebrities I wish would go away in 2007 and other busniesses I'd like to start.

Rocky Balboa - Liz loved the movie

My husband and I just saw Rocky Balboa tonight and we thought it was really fun. My fabulous friend Stephanie told me that she really liked the movie so, given her fabulous taste in movies, I figured that I would also enjoy it. I have to say that we had a great time at the movie and Sly Stalone looks fantastic. He is in great shape! The movie is pretty predictable but who cares? I like to go to movies that are fun and this movie was a blast. I found the movie very motivational...now I think maybe I will start training for a marathon. Or maybe I'll just try to remember to go to the gym every day. Either way, I feel motivated. But first, a nap.

My bloody finger

My fabulous friend Liz and I are always being asked for our advice. People ask us various questions like, Where can I find the best deal on a Volvo?; Are polka dots in this season?; and How can I get my dog to like me? We're excellent advice givers and if we ever don't know the answer, we just consult the black plastic orb.

Here's a piece of unsolicited advice - Don't cut your finger with a knife. I know this may sound like obvious advice, but apparently no one ever told me and it resulted in the above (and to the left) catastrophe on Christmas morning. For those of you a little slow, the picture above is of my cut finger. For those of you who connected the dots and already figured out that the picture above is of my finger - congratulations you probably already heard this advice.

Will anyone pay to watch me sleep?

My fabulous friend Liz is a successful entrepreneur. She's always saying things like, "find a way to get paid for doing something you love". Well, I love to sleep. I'd like to start my own sleep-watching business. Certainly there are some wonderfully rich voyeuristic people out there who have a fetish for watching people nap. I'd like to satisfy their need.

Seriously, people have started a business with a lesser idea. For example, those folks that came up with utube - how creative is that and what exactly do they have to do? It's not like they post all the videos. I would have to do all the napping myself. My fabulous friend Liz was also telling me about a business woman whose sole business proposition is putting crystals on everything from shoes to staplers. If someone has a successful business in be-dazzeling, certainly I can fulfill my life-long dream of napping all day and getting paid for it.

I've thought this through, and I could let all my "Nap-Kins" (that's what I'd call my subscribers) decide which pajamas I wore everyday and which position I would sleep in and where I would sleep. Think of all the variety.

And for a small fee, my Nap-Kins could watch me nap or watch my dogs nap (these are not my dogs). I could make 30K a year in my spare nap time, if I could get 1,000 people to pay the bargin $29.99 yearly subscription fee.

I think I'll consult the magic 8 ball.

Pufatufnik

James Bond Movie Marathons Are Awesome

I love James Bond movies. Even more than the individual movies, I love TNT's James Bond marathons. It feels so decadent to be able to watch a Bond flick anytime you turn on the TV. Right now License to Kill is on. It is a decent movie but it's not one of my favorites so I am flipping back and forth between Timothy Dalton as Bond and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I look forward to one day seeing a Harry Potter marathon when they have finished making all the movies.

The most recent James Bond film, Casino Royale, was fantastic and I look forward to its eventual inclusion in Bond marathons. I am sure that all those people who put up anti-Daniel Craig websites feel like idiots now. Daniel Craig is one of the best Bonds ever. I love movies in which the good guy wins in the end and most of the bad guys wind up dead or in jail. Bond never disappoints.

So What is A Pufatufnik?

Pufatufnik is a word that we made up one time after a bottle of wine. Its exact translation in English is: Crack Whore

Sometimes its just easier to make up a new word than it is to say two whole words. And also sometimes its nice to have your own secret language so that other people don't know what you are saying about them. Kind of like that Seinfeld episode where Elaine can't understand the women speaking Korean in the nail salon.

This blog is about whatever we want it to be about when we happen to be typing. Like last night, I was trying to sleep and my cat, Nigel, was trying to hump my arm and he wouldn't stop and yada yada yada...I am tired today. See, that is the kind of thing we talk about all the time. Sometimes we also talk about the news, world events, entertainment news and gossip (we love that), movies, our pet peeves, and weird "illnesses" like bulimia and anorexia and how you can cure them.

So this blog is really about whatever we are thinking about at the moment. And the advice and/or grievances that we want to share with others. Like all those stupid soccer moms in my neighborhood who drive around in their gigantic SUV's talking on their cell phones and not paying any attention to the road. Also people who talk on cell phones during the movies. We really can't stand people who bring kids to the movies and let them talk, cry, and kick the chairs. And we really have a problem with almost everyone associated with the airline industry. Could they make traveling any more unpleasant?

Sometimes, if we aren't sure what to do next we consult the Magic 8 Ball. We are happy to share the Magic 8 Ball's advice and counsel via our blog; the kind of insights available via a black plastic orb are not to be underestimated. For example, we asked the Magic 8 Ball if we should write a blog and it said, "Yes, Definitely". And so we will.