What is Wrong With Ann Coulter?

Ann Coulter's most recent obnoxious and bigoted remarks shouldn't really be a surprise given her history of obnoxious and bigoted statements. However, this time she really looks like an ass because the object of her ire, John Edwards, is going to be able to raise money from indignant liberals, gays, and humanoids who are offended by her vituperative comments. What a moron.

In fact, Ms. Coulter wins the Moron of The Week Award which, as many of you know, I don't usually like to hand out on Monday. Normally I would prefer to wait until at least Friday so I can hear what Paris, Lindsey, and Britney have been doing all week and distribute the award appropriately. But it's difficult to imagine that anyone (now that Anna Nicole is gone, God rest her soul) could do anything more offensive that Ann did when she called John Edwards a faggot on TV. Maybe she lacks both common sense and a publicist.

Also, who does her hair? I mean being a homophobe is tough if you want to get a decent cut and color job. Maybe that is why she keeps her hair all one length - so she can just trim the ends herself. With a mouth like hers she would wind up with the "Britney" haircut if she ever went into a salon.

One thing is for sure, she has a huge adams apple and from some of the photos I've seen of her I think there is a good chance she's a tranny. Crying Game anyone?

This Picture Makes Me Happy

A Sign For Nigel

The Pieces Of The Puzzle Are Falling Into Place

Well Anna Nicole was finally buried this week in the Bahamas and I think that it is clear to all that her messed up life had more than a little bit to do with the people she surrounded herself with. Her mother, Virgie Arthur, her baby daddy, Larry Birkhead, and Svengali/attorney/friend/wanna-be-baby daddy, Howard K. Stern are quite the cast of misfits, opportunists, and losers. I have never seen anything like this crowd and I am an avid follower of celebrity train wrecks. Generally, people who have a lot of problems don't attract normal and well adjusted friends.

I think that Virgie Arthur may, in fact, be the anti-Christ. The media kind of portrays her as a weeping mother but I don't see it. She is doing everything she can to ignore Anna's final wishes so that she can profit from Anna's death. I read in Cindy Adams column on Page Six that Virgie's legal bills are being paid by a large UK based media syndicate. It makes sense. They stand to gain a lot in terms of additional media coverage of the Anna situation if Virgie keeps filing motions. The stupid woman even tried to stop the funeral while the hearse was on its way to the church!! I thought I had heard of everything until she did that.

And why is it so important to Virgie that Anna's body reside in Texas? Could it be that she wants to charge admission to see her grave? Apparently Daniel's father, who hadn't seen him since 1988 (19 years before he died) has filed a motion in Bahamian court to exhume Daniel's body and move it to Texas. How is he paying for his legal bills? Do you think that maybe Virgie's British benefactors are helping?

One of Anna's cousins is publishing a book called, "Train Wreck" which will include excerpts of Anna's private diaries. What the f--k? What kind of people sell out their relatives like this? Oh yeah, I forgot...trailer trash people who have neither the work ethic or the talent to earn a living on their own.

I have also heard unsubstantiated rumors that Howard K. Stern is the sole beneficiary of no less than 7 life insurance policies that Anna took out and paid for herself. This rumor seems a little "off" and not just because those goofballs were apparently broke and didn't pay a lot of their bills. I just can't believe there are 7 life insurance companies that would gamble on life insurance policies for a woman who seemed so publicly hell bent on self destruction.

Howard is apparently being paid a licensing fee from Entertainment Tonight to let them serve as the exclusive source of interviews with him about the Anna situation. The amazing thing about that story is that apparently ET and Howard negotiated that agreement after her son Daniel died last year. I guess Anna's death is a ratings bonus for them.

I wonder if the public is starting to tire of this circus? I never really felt sorry for Anna when she was alive. I thought she was a conniving, drug addicted, gold digging loser who was too lazy and stupid to do anything but strip. But now that she is gone and we have had the opportunity to find out more about her friends and family I pity her. With Virgie as a mother Anna never had a chance at anything but dancing on a pole. Finally the manner in which she lived and died makes sense. The pieces of the puzzle are falling into place.

An Inconvenient Hypocrisy

The Tennessee Center for Policy Research says that Al Gore, who won an Academy Award last weekend for his film about global warming and the importance of energy conservation, uses 20 times the national average to power his Nashville mansion. What's more, his use has increased since the release of "An Inconvenient Truth"

The Center says:

Gore’s mansion consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES). The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh—more than 20 times the national average.

Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh—guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore’s average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.

Since the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Gore’s energy consumption has increased from an average of 16,200 kWh per month in 2005, to 18,400 kWh per month in 2006. Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year … In total, Gore paid nearly $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for his Nashville estate in 2006.

I don't have any particular problem with Al Gore. He seems like a well meaning guy who is concerned about the earth and about potentially lewd rock music lyrics. But when you hold yourself up as an expert/zealot about an issue you have to expect to receive some extra public scrutiny. As Rush Limbaugh discovered when he got busted with a bunch of illegal prescription meds.

If the earth is really in so much danger from fossil fuel emissions then why isn't Gore walking the talk? Why are we supposed to ride bicycles instead of cars when he burns gas by the truckload when he flies around in his private jet? Is he a hypocrite? Or maybe global warming is being exaggerated to sell movie tickets, hybrid cars, and to scare us all into living in caves? I don't know the answers to these questions, of course, but I think that Gore looks like a big goober.

And another thing: I'll bet that Gore's Prius-driving, supermodel-dating, takes-himself-too- seriously buddy, Leonardo DiCaprio, doesn't have solar panels on his Hollywood mansion. He probably doesn't even turn out the lights when he leaves the kitchen. Oh, wait, he probably doesn't even know where the kitchen is; he would have to ask his assistant to point the way. Gore, DiCaprio, and all of their rich, liberal, "environmental" Hollywood friends don't live in the real world but they like to pretend that they do when the cameras are rolling.

Amusing Thought For The Day: Achievement

Barbara Walters Oscar Special

I love the annual Barbara Walters Oscar special and never miss it.

Tonight's first guest is Ellen Degeneres, one of my favorite comedians and the host of the Oscars this year. The one thing I don't really like about the Barbara Walters specials is that she always brings up some difficult period in the interviewee's life that is a tearjerker. She just asked Ellen about being molested as a child. While I feel badly for Ellen's past traumas I am uncomfortable hearing about them. I am always uncomfortable hearing extremely private information about people I don't know well and this occasion is no different. I wish they could have simply focused on Ellen's humor.

The second guest is Jennifer Hudson, the favorite to win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. I may be the only person who will come right out and say that I think Jennifer Hudson is completely overrated and totally uninteresting as an actress. Give me a break. Abigale Breslin should win Best Supporting Actress for her role in Little Miss Sunshine. But I am sure that the bland Ms. Hudson will win the Oscar this year. She seems like a nice girl but I just find her to be dull. Also, in my opinion, she isn't an actress as much as she is a singer. Maybe she should win a Grammy and not an Oscar. I wish I got to make decisions like that. Maybe when I am Supreme Dictator of the World.

Barbara's third guest is the great Helen Mirren, favorite to win the Best Actress Oscar tonight. I like Helen Mirren. She is beautiful, candid, and charming. She also looks age-appropriate unlike a lot of American stars who have all had so much plastic surgery that their eyebrows meet in the back of their heads. Helen Mirren is so cute when she is talking about her husband. She is adorable and so classy. I am glad she is going to win tonight. Talent, class, and grace. Maybe Paris, Britney, and Lindsey are watching this show and learning from her. Nah, I doubt it.

Cut back to Live From the Red Carpet on E!...

Seacrest is interviwing Gwynyth Paltrow. She bugs me. She takes herself so seriously for such a marginal actress. I guess having rich successful parents along with an Oscar does that to you.

Now Seacrest is interviewing Beyonce who also bugs me. Enough said.

Wow, Cate Blanchett looks amazing as always. She looks like a goddess. I hope she wins tonight but I don't think she is going to. If I were Supreme Dictator of the World Cate would win an Oscar every year because I think she might be the greatest actress of our generation.

Back to Barbara Walters....

Eddie Murphy is the next guest on the Barbara special. I remember seeing his movie "Raw" back in 1985 at the Hyde Park Theater in Chicago. It was pretty intimidating to see that movie in a predominantly African American movie theater back then. Great flick though. He is a talented guy. I loved him in Shrek. I didn't care for his acceptance speech at the Golden Globes though. If he wins tonight I hope he gives a funny speech. That is really what we want from comedians: comedy. Oh lord...Barbara is asking Eddie about his childhood and his divorced parents. I think she is trying to make him cry but Eddie isn't falling for it. Thank goodness.

Live From the Red Carpet

It's 5pm CST and of course I am watching E! TV's Live From the Red Carpet. I am going to blog about anything that seems interesting, dramatic, noteworthy, or ridiculous. So this could be a pretty long post.

Question #1: Did Ellen dis Seacrest?
I had to rewind the Tivo to watch what happened a second time. Ryan Seacrest just cut to Ellen getting ready to host the Oscars and it was hard to tell if her eye-roll and "Back to you, Ryan" as she turned around and walked away from the camera was sarcastic or if she was being funny. I'll bet she was dissing him. He is a jackass.

Even the E! people are making fun of Ryan Seacrest. They just caught him holding his bottle of water when he thought no one was looking and they are commenting on that. That is how riveting this coverage is so far. Maybe he has vodka in the bottle instead of water...that would explain a whole lot about his behavior. Good grief, I hope the red carpet gets more interesting than it has been so far.

Question #2: Seriously, what is wrong with Ryan Seacrest?
Seacrest just interviewed Gael Garcia Bernal, a star of the movie Babel which is nominated for Best Picture. All that Seacrest could think of to ask the guy was what he thought of Brad Pitt. The worst part was that Ryan wouldn't quit asking the same question over and over when Gael said that he doesn't know Brad Pitt. Poor Gael had to tell Ryan about 4 times that he never met Brad during the filming of the movie because they shot on different continents. Ryan is an idiot. Why not ask Gael about his amazing performance in Babel or his future movies because on continents other than this one he is a huge movie star in his own right. Ryan even tried to get the poor guy to just stand next to him until Brad Pitt shows up so that he, Ryan, could introduce the two actors. What a moron.

Question #3: Why Does Ryan Seacrest Think That if He Speaks Slowly and Loudly A Non-English Speaker will understand him?
He just interviewed Rinko Kikuchi, a star of Babel, who was speaking through an interpreter. All I can say is, "Embarrassing, ugly American." Ryan you should go home.

Penelope Cruz is beautiful. Wow. Her pink Versace dress is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. Seacrest is actually doing a decent job of interviewing her; maybe the Prozac kicked in.

Question #4: Why Does Cameron Diaz's Hair Always Look Like She Styled It With A Weed whacker?
Nice dress. Bad bad hair. Nothing more to say.

Jada Pinkett Smith is hot. This woman always looks amazing and tonight is no different. Gorgeous yellow dress that no woman with pale skin could pull off. She has a really buff body too.

Seacrest interviewing John Travolta and Kelly Preston. Apparently they voted for Forest Whitaker to win for Best Actor...if the Scientologists support a nominee he will probably win.

OK, its time to switch over to the Barbara Walters Special on ABC.

I hope that someone grabs Seacrest by his spiky hair and slams his head down onto his/her knee. That would be great.

The Academy Awards Are Today!!

I am so excited because the Academy Awards are tonight. For me, the Oscars are like the Superbowl, the Kentucky Derby, and election night all rolled into one evening. I will start watching red carpet coverage in a couple of hours. One weird thing is that E! TV starts its red carpet coverage at 11 am CST. That means 9 am PST. There is NO ONE on the red carpet at that time. I love the Oscars but interviews with the guys who are rolling out the carpet and the ladies who are bringing in the flowers just doesn't do it for me.

I will start watching the red carpet in a few hours when the D-list celebrities show up and I won't walk away from the TV until they give the last award. I am concerned that this years Oscars may be really dull because there don't seem to be any big surprises in store except maybe the Best Picture winner. I hope there is some kind of huge drama or someone has a seizure on stage to break up the monotony. Of course we can always count on Ryan Seacrest and his flunkies to make a lot of inane comments to the celebrities so that should be entertaining.

Liz's 2007 Oscar Picks

Following are my Oscar picks for the top 6 categories. Predicted winners are in bold:

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Penélope Cruz in “Volver”

Judi Dench in “Notes on a Scandal”

Helen Mirren in “The Queen”

Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada”

Kate Winslet in “Little Children”

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Adriana Barraza in “Babel”

Cate Blanchett in “Notes on a Scandal”

Abigail Breslin in “Little Miss Sunshine”

Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls”

Rinko Kikuchi in “Babel”

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Leonardo DiCaprio in “Blood Diamond”

Ryan Gosling in “Half Nelson”

Peter O’Toole in “Venus”

Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happyness”

Forest Whitaker in “The Last King of Scotland”

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Alan Arkin in “Little Miss Sunshine”

Jackie Earle Haley in “Little Children”

Djimon Hounsou in “Blood Diamond”

Eddie Murphy in “Dreamgirls”

Mark Wahlberg in “The Departed”

Achievement in directing

“Babel” Alejandro González Iñárritu

“The Departed” Martin Scorsese

“Letters from Iwo Jima” Clint Eastwood

“The Queen” Stephen Frears

“United 93” Paul Greengrass

Best motion picture of the year

“Babel”

“The Departed”

“Letters from Iwo Jima”

“Little Miss Sunshine”

“The Queen”