Paris is Finally In Jail

So Paris Hilton is finally in jail and is making more news than ever. I would love to say that this is because it's a slow news day but, sadly, it is because the media is obsessed with her skinny ass. I can't figure it out but she is such a jerk that I have to make fun of her here at Pufatufniks.

Someone is supposedly auctioning off one of the jail jumpsuits that she tried on when she got to the LA jail in which she currently resides. Personally, I think this is fake because the jumpsuit is the property of LA County and I can't believe that anyone authorized a jailhouse flunkie to sell one of their jail suits. I couldn't find the auction on ebay so maybe this rumor isn't true at all.

Someone has created a game that allows you to make license plates as Paris in jail. Kind of cute. Check it out here.

I think that while the media is giving daily reports on what Paris is supposedly doing and how she is behaving in jail the reality is that she probably isn't doing much of anything. She is in solitary confinement and is allowed 3 books or magazines at any one time. She isn't allowed her blackberry or cell phone. So what is Paris doing all day?

My money says she sleeps most of the day and spends the rest of her time trying to figure out what the words say in US Magazine. Or maybe she just looks at all the pictures and drools. This is a first for her: she is alone and only has reading material to keep her company. A lot of people use prison as a chance to study or to read actual books. Paris won't do this. For one thing, 23 days just isn't enough for her to work her way through all the words in East of Eden. Maybe she could get through See Spot Run while she is in the slammer.

I heard that she was planning to keep a jailhouse diary and get it published once she gets out. The crazy thing about this world is that some publisher will probably pay her a bunch of money for her diary (if she keeps one). I just don't think that even the most pop-culture-centric of publishers will be able to create a market for 23 pages of frowney faces accompanied by comments like "this suks" or "I sad".